The Fast Dozen Meme

From the archives at All Stace, All The Time

What is the last book that you passed on to someone else to read?
My husband travels an hour to work and back each day so I borrow audio books from the library for him to listen to so I’m going to put in a request for The Golem and the Jinni because I really enjoyed that.

The one song you secretly or not so secretly want to sing at karaoke?
Anything ABBA – probably Dancing Queen but it’s not really much of a secret around here. I’d really like to have the white pants suit that Agnetha wore in Mama Mia to do it in as well.

If you had to pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
I wouldn’t bother, I’m pretty happy with Jane. When I was about 10 I wanted to be called Madeleine which is my middle name because I didn’t know any others (now they’re all over the place). At that time I believed I was really a lost gypsy child that my parents had found wandering country NSW and taken in to raise and Jane didn’t seem quite exotic enough.

What do you wish your administrator or boss would notice?
Well that’s me really and I already notice every thing.

What is your biggest pet peeve?
Just one hmmmmmm I can’t pick, there’s so many. People who don’t park properly annoy me – those people who take up two spots or waste space.

What holds you back in pursuing your biggest dream?
Having kids, running our own business, having a needy dog, money. My kids are adults now though so I can’t blame them for any future holdbacks.

Why do you think you are a lovable person?
I never think I am but my kids seem to think I’m ok. I’m not all soft and warm and fuzzy but those in my group of loves know I’ll always have their back and I’ll stand by them and for them. I think I’m kind and I’m not judgemental.

If every day had an extra hour in it, what would you do with it?
Read – maybe, I don’t know actually. It’s not really a lot of time an hour.

The last song you turned up in your car or house was?
Lol well, I was home alone last night cleaning out the kitchen cupboards with the stereo blasting
in general but I did tweak it up a little further when Almost Saturday Night – John Fogerty/Keith Urban came on.

What is a secret talent you may have?
It remains a secret even from myself.

Your favorite thing to do outside when it’s not too cold out in the winter?
It’s never too cold to go outside in winter here but we have some days in summer when it’s too hot to go outside.

How do you respond if someone asks you an inappropriate or nosy question?
That’s usually my daughter and tell her to mind her bloody business

for the girl who wants nothing

My kids hate having to buy me presents because I never want anything. I tell them I don’t want any things or any more stuff and they groan and walk away and have to actually think about what to get me instead of just lumping me with some useless stuff I don’t want.

So when my oldest daughter came home with pink and blue cardboard and told me to stay in your room because she was making my christmas present I couldn’t imagine what it could be that wasn’t going to be useless stuff.

Turns out it was the perfect gift although I think she’s already regretting the – no questions asked – part of the deal. I’ve got about 50 tickets which should last me about a year I reckon. I was going to try and slip a few back into the box but she makes me hand them over then rips them in half.

toe-painting

tis the season

So that was Christmas then.

I’ve already packed away the tree and decorations. It’s not that I don’t enjoy Christmas; it’s just that every year my side of the family all meet at Mums on the first Sunday of December for lunch and I consider that to be my Christmas day. Then I have a lunch with my old friends during the next week and a lunch with my new friends the week after so by the time the 25th rolls around I’m kind of over it. Anyway I hate how everyone puts the focus on that one day – as if Christmas is just that one meal.

It was extra special at Mums this year as we have two new babies! Yes, the children of the original siblings have started breeding. Two of my nephews and their wives have had babies and they were so cute when they saw each other for the first time.

Here they are with my Mum who is now a mother of four, grandmother of eleven and great-grandmother of two.

bubbas

Here I am with my girls – pity they’re so ugly though.

girls

It’s really weird sometimes to look at photos of your kids and realise that you actually grew them – crazy shit.

Jane-and-J

I think Emjays daughter would like a little baby, here she is with her nephew and my daughter. Aww they’re so cute when you can hand them back.

Girls-with-Bub

It’s amazing how quickly the kids have all grown. It’s not a table of kids anymore but a table of adults – with babies! One little blondie niece in there amongst all the dark heads.

kids

Ok, well bring on the new year I guess.

the baby

I’ve been having quite a few – how the hell did that happen – moments lately.

One of them was this morning when I wished my baby a happy 21st birthday. Even though a lot has happened over that time, it really is amazing just how quickly those 21 years have passed.

She tells me she’s a big girl now but I told her that having had 49 years experience of it myself that once you’re the baby, you’re always the baby.

And what a cute baby she is.

baby

Cognition

Poor Lloyd; he’s about to do one of those cognitive ability tests for a job interview, 50 questions in 21 minutes progressivly becoming more complicated.

The sort where they show you four triangles with different intersecting lines through them and you have to say what the next two will look like. Or they ask you questions like – John has two aunts, one called Judith and the other called Nancy – how tall is their father?? Or that one about how many bloody trips across the river its going to take the father to get his annoying daughters.

I’ve done a couple of them myself and I usually end up with a mad case of the giggles because they’re so stupid, not to mention hard. I did one last year and according to it I’m most suited to being a legal secretary which I found pretty depressing. I did one pretending I was my daughter once because she didn’t have internet access but I had to keep getting Lloyd to come in and answer the maths ones anyway so he should do okay, he has a very organised mathematical brain.

The funniest one I did was for my daughter again for a fast food place. You wouldn’t believe the questions I had to answer and I’m pretty sure she didn’t get the job because I must have come accross as the biggest tattletale out there. I was dobbing on people for all sorts of things, if I saw them take a pencil home with them, if they spilt drink and didn’t clean it up, lol. It’s hard to know what sort of person you should be; the sort who tells on everyone to the boss or the one who doesn’t, should I should swap my shift to play in my tennis final or let the tennis team down, so many difficult questions. Personally I think it’s a load of crap.

Learning to drive

So this is my brother. As you can see he looks to be about five years old and he’s driving the tractor while my father has a smoke and throws some feed out the back.

You really do have a different childhood when you grow up on a farm. My husband was showing me this little plastic toy yesterday and asked me if I played with one when I was a kid and I told him that I didn’t have time to play with stupid plastic toys when I was a kid because after looking at all these old photos I can see we were all obviously too busy working out on the farm.

We all learnt to drive at an early age but my father didn’t have a lot of patience or very good driver training skills. I don’t remember learning to drive a car so maybe it was particularly traumatising but the day he taught me how to drive a tractor I was on it with him and then he just jumped off and told me to drive it.

The day he taught me to ride a motorbike I was out with him doing some cattle work and they started running in the wrong drection and he yelled at me to run back and get the motorbike and I yelled at him that I didn’t know how to ride a motorbike and he yelled back at me that it was ABOUT FUCKING TIME I LEARNT HOW TO THEN.

So I ran back to the bike crying and managed to start it and ride it back to him and we sorted out the cattle and then rode home. When we got home I got off the back and he said that now he could give me a proper lesson and I yelled back at him that it was A BIT FUCKING LATE NOW and stormed off and he stood there chuckling.

He was a very difficult man sometimes.

Feels sweet

Me personally, I find the moment of revenge that gives me the most pleasure is the one when I turn the kitchen taps on and off when someone is in the shower. I can feel this sort of jokers smirk on my face every time I get to do it because I know, from many burnt faces and cold hair rinses, that nothing ruins a good shower more than someone constantly turning those bloody taps in the kitchen on and off while I’m in it.

Brownie

So basically what you do is put a layer of brownie batter in the pan, top it with a layer of Oreos, then put another layer of brownie batter on top. Cook it of course unless you want a serious tunny upset.

Just what the doctor ordered after a long days work on a freezing cold, wet, windy winter day.

Now I know why I had kids – to pick me up from work on furious winter days and cook me brownies.