Say chia’s

I thought kale and quinoa were the most terrible tasting of the so-called super foods but then I tried Chia seeds and those things are truly awful. They have absolutely no flavour and when mixed with liquid they have the texture of mucus.

The only thing I found to be super about them was the price tag.

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Summoned

I was called up for jury duty a few weeks ago. I wasn’t selected in the end so it was a boring three hours spent sitting on a hard wooden bench that’s left my back stuffed ever since.

There were a hundred of us there in the pool and they had two cases they were selecting for. When you first arrive you’re given your juror number which from then on you are referred to as so your name can remain secret squirrel. Which was handy as I was going to use my sisters name if anyone asked for it. When I received my number the guy told me they had two cases starting and one would go for three weeks and one would go for one week and which would I prefer. I almost laughed but said, one please, thinking, who would pick three? Well just about everyone as it turned out.

So then I proceeded to the hard wooden bench where we watched a video saying what would happen then we listened to the court official tell us again what would happen and then he said, everyone who said they could do three weeks follow me and about 85 people out of the hundred toddled off after him. I thought, wow, they must be really bored or something.

So more sitting and waiting while they went off to the court room and were selected or rejected before they came back and a guy told me it had been a murder trial.

Off we all toddled to another court room and I hadn’t realised (as they don’t tell you) that when you walk in it’s all set up ready to begin so if you get selected you walk straight up to the jury box (from another hard wooden bench) and everyone else is excused and the trial gets started. So be warned, go to the toilet and have a drink before you head in.

This one was for an armed hold-up and as I said my number wasn’t called so I went home and hopefully I’m off the list for a while. They say it’s a random selection from the electoral role but I’m a bit suss on that seeing as how my husband and I have both been called up within six months of each other. He was excused as he’s a sole trader. If I get summoned again I’ll be getting a medical certificate saying that I can’t sit for extended periods which isn’t a lie and was something the judge talked about; if you had trouble hearing, or sitting for a long time or didn’t think you could be impartial or knew any of the accused or witnesses or thought the case would disturb you to speak up. I’d already decided I wasn’t going to do any animal cruelty case, that I was going to say I couldn’t be impartial and I didn’t want to hear or see any nasty things that would scar me for life.

I don’t know how I feel about jury duty really. I mean what if you do hear or see something that really disturbs you and you’re messed up for the rest of your life. You don’t want to be selected for something boring like tax evasion but you don’t want a really gruesome murder either, well I don’t think I would. Also, how can you be sure a juror really is impartial? I was feeling pretty pissed off myself that I had to go and waste my time because some dick head couldn’t just stay home and behave himself. I know, innocent until proven guilty and all that but if you’ve had to take time off work, travel on a stinky bus and sit on a really uncomfortable seat because you’ve been threatened with a fine if you don’t and then have to do that for three weeks or more, well you mightn’t be feeling fondly about the situation. Maybe jury duty should be a job where people are specifically trained to be jurors or maybe the judge should just make the decisions. Although you only have to have been watching the news lately to see how well that can go!

Anyway I banked my $8.00 travel expenses cheque they sent and hopefully I won’t hear from them again. Duty done.

Melatonin kicked my arse

I’ve been getting by on very little sleep each night for many, many years now but just recently, over the past six months, it reached a point where I thought – I can’t imagine living like this for another thirty years or so. (Of course I could drop dead next week so it wouldn’t be a problem – but you know what I mean).

And yes I have tried everything. If one more person suggests I have a warm bath before bed, dim the lights at dusk, don’t watch tv for an hour before bed, meditate, listen to white noise or have a chamomile tea, I will seriously punch their face in. I think the people who have all these opinions about how you can have a good nights sleep have never had a bad one.

So, I was at the doctors for something else last week and I mentioned it to her and she suggested I try melatonin. It’s only available here by prescription and costs about a dollar a night but I said ok.

But whoa people, say no to drugs because those pills wiped me out – not through the night but for all of the following day. The first night I took the full dose and I didn’t get any sleep that night and when I got up to go to the toilet through the night I felt as if I’d had about twenty glasses of wine with a couple of rohypnols and I continued to feel like that for most of the next day. There’s no way I would have driven to the shops and I couldn’t do any work or go for a walk. So I cut the dose to half the next night and I didn’t feel as smashed through the night but it didn’t help me sleep and I still felt trashed the next day. I took another half the next night just in case it was something that you might have to adjust to but it was the same thing and I had to spend about four hours just laying on the bed yesterday afternoon because my head felt as if it was filled with cement.

So I’ll be adding that to my list of sleep remedy fails – in fact I think I’ll put it at the top.

Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror

Look in the mirror. Does the person you see match the person you feel like on the inside? How much stock do you put in appearances?

I guess so – I don’t spend a lot of time in front of the mirror but I’m a realistic sort of person so I know I’m getting older and because I’d never bother with surgery or Botox or anything else things are going to change. I don’t think I feel as young as I did when I was 20 or 30 or that I even want to

It doesn’t freak me out that I’m looking older but it does freak me out a bit that I’m getting older. It’s because I’ll be turning 50 in about a month and I just can’t see how that can be possible. I know everyone bangs on about life beginning now and it being so wonderful and such a great time but I think they’re kidding themselves a teeny little bit. Sure I can see all the positives that come with getting older but when it comes down to it you haven’t really got a lot of good years left in you compared to the amount you’ve had. Even if you’re a fit older person you’ve probably only got until 75 – maybe 80 max I reckon where you can get around and travel and just do stuff easily. Sure you see the occasional 90-year-old jumping out of a plane but it’s not the norm. So that’s what kind of freaks me out; I’ve got a lot of things I want to do so I need to get cracking on them as time is flying.

Recently I bought one of those 6 x magnification mirrors because I couldn’t see what I was doing when I put my makeup on and man I can tell you, there’s no hiding from the truth in one of those things.

I don’t put a lot of stock in appearances and try not to judge people based on how they dress or look but I think it’s kind of natural to. You just have to go out for lunch or shopping with your elderly disabled father to see how people made assumptions about him based on how he presented physically. Or if I go out with my 80-year-old mother, people treat her like a child or as if she’s senile in some way. She was buying a coffee machine and I said I was going to go look at the cameras and the salesman said I’d better just stay there and hear what he had to say – because obviously my mother wasn’t going to understand or might forget in ten minutes time. I’m like – I don’t want the coffee machine, talk to her about it.

Anyway I think I’m off track now so I’ll just add this little part from the short story Eleven which kind of sums up how I feel about getting older. When I look in the mirror I just see me and I feel like me which is a culmination at this point of all the years I’ve ever been.

Sandra Cisneros 

What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you are —underneath the year that makes you eleven.

Like some days you might say something stupid, and that’s the part of you that’s still ten. Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama’s lap because you’re scared, and that’s the part of you that’s five. And maybe one day when you’re all grown up maybe you will need to cry like if you’re three, and that’s okay. That’s what I tell Mama when she’s sad and needs to cry. Maybe she’s feeling three.

Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one. That’s how being eleven years old is.

for the girl who likes to have a goal

My youngest daughter gave me a fit bit flex for christmas which is really just a fancy pedometer. It was another good idea for me because I like to have a goal (or an obsession), it tracks your steps, activity, calories burned bla bla and this was my log for yesterday.

Take that fancy pedometer – kicked your recommended 10,000 steps arse.

fitbit

It’s a lot of steps, 10,000, I don’t think many people would get their recommended daily dose. I know I only reach mine because I jog/walk 6 km in the mornings then I make up the rest poking about the garden, washing, shopping and whatever because the rest of the time I’m sitting at a desk. People who get up, go to work and sit at a desk all day then drive home again would be lucky to rack up two or three thousand. I read somewhere that Amish people average 20,000 a day and waitresses do a lot of stepping through their days, most other people not so much.

It’s not a gift for one with obsessive compulsive tendencies though (of which I may possibly be one) because you can become obsessed with reaching that magic 10,000 number. I had a pedometer years ago but had to throw it away because I kept bumping up my daily goal until I was doing 20,000 steps a day and I practically had to walk a half marathon to meet it. I’d be up in the garage skipping before I went to bed or doing jumping jacks every spare minute I had if I was short.

So this one will just be staying put at 10,000.

The good thing about this one is that it tracks your sleep as well and this is my sleep log for last night and it’s been the same every night. I know I sleep badly but I’m not sure if it makes me feel better or worse seeing it plotted on a graph.

sleep-log

So the dark blue is when I was asleep and the light blue when I was tossing and turning. As my husband said – no wonder you’re so cranky and unpleasant in the mornings.

I know it’s just a sort of rough idea because it can’t tell you why you were restless i.e. Chicken Little trying to burrow her head under the sheet or the massive cat fight outside the window at 3am but still, that’s a lousy nights sleep. Also it can’t tell when you’re awake but lying there being still because I know I was awake at 3am because I looked at the clock after the 3am cat brawl and lay there for a while thinking about how I hate those people down the road who don’t lock their cats in at night.

Anyway times a wasting – time for me to get moving.

dimples

I don’t care that they have it, I was just wondering why it was, that so many celebrities have so much cellulite; it’s running rampant out there.

Yesterday I was looking at some of those awful pictures magazines publish about what stars really look like without airbrushing and photoshopping and make up artists and good lighting (pretty ordinary as it turns out) and they all had a lot of cellulite and I was wondering if it’s because they spend so many years dieting and doing extreme/stupid fad diets and it messes things up. Now I know every woman has cellulite and it’s a fact of life we just have to suck up but I go to the beach a lot and walk a lot and see a lot of non-celebrities out and about in shorts and swimmers and I’ve never seen anything like I saw in those photos.

I wondered the same thing about nutritionists. I’ve seen more than a few nutritionists who look down right unhealthy; old, tired, washed out and I wonder if that’s because they think about their diets too much. A lot of them look like they need a good feed from someone like Maggie Beer – now there’s a good-looking healthy woman.

You can see I didn’t have much to wonder about yesterday.

learning new things

Shaking my head in wonder here.

I never knew such a thing existed as pro thigh gap groups. Yes, there’s more than one, apparently they’re prolific on FB and IG and they like to shame women who have a thigh gap that isn’t big enough i.e. healthy sized women.

I don’t imagine I’ll be eligible to join any time soon, I don’t know if I even have one.

How did the world ever become so shallow.

I’m going to have to go for a long walk to get over my disappointment about this because I can’t even see a funny side to it yet.

The spring sneeze

And so another day begins with an antihistamine and some panadol. Spring hasn’t officially begun and most allergy sufferers I know have already had a solid three weeks of blocked noses and sinus’ and watery eyes. My husband is the worst, he’s started freaking out when he sees a wattle tree, even if we’re driving past it with the windows wound up. He’s suffered from allergies (mainly dust and pollens) for his entire life but it’s all new for me, it’s only something I seem to have developed over the past couple of years and I can’t say I’m happy about it. The trouble with the antihistamines is that they clear up my nose but they also suck every bit of moisture out of my  body and I don’t want to talk about my skin but ok I will – remember that ad for moisturiser and they had the leaf that was all dried up but then it plumped back to beauty with a bit of moisture? Well  I look and feel like that dried up leaf but no amount of moisturizer is bringing my skin back to life. I’m like crocodile woman – too much longer and you’ll be able to make handbags out of me.

I guess I first became aware of an allergy problem with the hair bleaching thing last year; where I started developing a swollen itchy head a couple of times after trips to the hairdresser. I did go back after the first time and it was ok but then the next it was really bad so I haven’t been back for a while and I’m just sort of letting it go while I grow out of this allergy thing (haha). Let me just say that there ain’t no pretty way to grow out bleached hair – the next 12 months are going to get crazy but I figure the best way to do it is just own it – pretend that’s exactly the way I mean for it to be. It’s going to be the hombre look taken to the extreme and without a lot of blending.

I’m pretty sure I’m even developing an allergy to the dog – not that I’d get rid of her or anything! At least the pills work for me – nothing works for Daz, he’s tried every new thing they come up with, he’s even had surgery to clear the passages but nothing helps, he just seems to be used to it. He’s one of those men that still uses hankies – I’ve only ever met one other, I was at a party and this guy whipped out his hankie. Not that they’re much use – he’ll get through about a dozen hankies a day, what he needs is a 12 pack of bandanas a day.

See – spell check doesn’t even know what a hanky is! Lol, it wants me to use huskies – no my husband doesn’t get through a dozen huskies a day, he doesn’t whip out his huskie at parties thank you.