Just saying

that undercoating sucks. It’s so tediously, mind numbingly boring. I found myself sitting there laughing at things that happened about ten years ago because there’s just so much time to think about everything and nothing.

Especially when the previous owner decided that it might be a nice idea to put a garden fence in the lounge room.


I could probably get rid of it but I can’t be stuffed.

So onwards to tomorrow to colour.


A cat called Casey

One thing about people – they never fail to disappoint me. I know there are a lot of good ones out there but the bad ones really fuck it up for me.

Some of you may remember our neighbours cat Casey who came to live with us a few years ago. Casey had lived happily with her owners for about five years until they bought two dogs who basically ran her out of home. So she started hanging out at our place which is two doors up and of course I started feeding her because I’m a sucker for any animal in need and we’ve been doing so for about, oh I don’t know, maybe four years.

In the beginning her owners felt bad about it so they used to buy the food but that stopped pretty quickly and I didn’t really mind and she settled in living out the front of the house because Betty was out the back.

So then of course I moved away but my daughter Lizzie has still been living there and she kept up the feeding job with a few extra perks I think such as Casey sleeping inside on cold nights and expensive tinned food.

Now we’re ready to sell that house and one of my major worries has been what to do with Casey. I wasn’t just going to pack up and leave her but I didn’t really want to move her. She’s about 10 now and settled but my main concern is that our new place is on two very busy roads and there are already a lot of cats in the back alley. I wouldn’t want her to have to move here and have to fight for her spot or get run over.

Lizzie said she would take her with her but the two apartments she has looked at are both Strata title with no pets allowed. So I said to daz that he should go and talk to the previous owners and see if they would start feeding her again, I mean she doesn’t ask for much and she’s never been unwell.

Well, they said that she wasn’t their cat and they weren’t going to feed her. They said that she was old anyway and she’d probably just die if we left her and then it wouldn’t be a problem. They said to just leave her and someone else might look after her.

Seriously people I felt like going around there and punching their heads in. Maybe I’m a softie but I’d rather be like that than be a hard faced nasty mean bitch and they’ll get their payback one day (I hope).

So the next step is to talk to the neighbour next to us and see if they’ll take her on. They’re animal lovers and Casey even went and lived with them for three months a couple of years ago. It was after I put a flea treatment on her – she hissed at me and ran away and wouldn’t talk to me for three months. We used to look over the fence at her and say – hello little pussy cat – in sweet voices and she’d hiss and snarl at us then lick her paws.

Sigh – if that doesn’t work, well she’ll just have to come here, I’m not just leaving her. I spent today talking to Chicken Little about it and telling her how nice it would be for her to have a new little friend, a little ginger girl who was unloved just like she was. She looked dubious.

It seems ridiculous that my major worry about moving is the neighbours cat, lol but she’s such a sweet girl and a little survivor.

Stay tuned.

dolls on the move

This is my new doll, Dockyard Dame. Kimba gave her to me for christmas.

dockyard dame

She’s a roller derby bitch. A bitch with attitude.


I’m not sure if other countries use the word scrag but we like to use it here. Especially when you were at school. Aw piss off ya scrag. You’d use it to insult someone you thought was a bit umm, oh it’s hard to explain. If they’re kind of rough, undesirable. Skinny usually.

Anyway I thought she might scare my other dolls when I put them in the box together but now I look at them she’s probably feeling a little unsafe. They’re a rough bunch. She’s probably thinking – get me the hell out of this box of freaks.

box of fun

These are the dolls I’ve been dragging around for the past forty five years.

I wasn’t big on naming my dolls. These three tend to hang as a gang. The Bridesmaid, The Bride and Baby. Thats what I named them when I was little. I got The Bride and The Bridesmaid for christmas one year. They came as a bride and bridesmaid. Mum sewed their dresses which was a solid effort on her part because I never saw her sew. The Bride seems to have lost her wedding dress.

the bridesmaid, the bride and baby

The bridesmaid looks like an ice addict. And as you can see I musn’t have been pleased with The Bride’s eyebrows so I fixed them up.

new eyebrows

These were/are my favourites, Pink Teddy and Lulu.I don’t know if she was already named that because if it was up to me I’d probably have called her Brown Hair Doll or something as original. Although I thought I might have named her after the singer Lulu.

pink teddy and lulu

Pink Teddy was mauled by our doberman. That’s why he has holes in his head and chest. He’s very precious to me and when our house was in danger of flooding a few years ago and they told us to pack a bag of important things in case we had to evacuate, he was the first thing in it. Pink Teddy, Lulu and my book Teddy Edward goes to the Seaside. Daz said – I think they mean medication and insurance papers.

I’ve had pink teddy since I was born. Here I am with him. Thats Emjay on the left with the plaits and our sister Min on the right. We looked like a family of Scandinavians when we were small.

And I may have thrown him aside every now and then in favour of something new but he knew I always loved him best.


there’s a monkey in my roof but he’s not eating cake

Home is not where the heart is.

It’s where ever your big beautiful comfy king sized bed is.

And that’s not where I am at the moment. I’m back painting again at the new house, (we’re moving in next week) so my bed isn’t with me. And I didn’t think it would be possible to find anything more uncomfortable to sleep on than The Futon From Hell, but not only did I find it, I bought it. And I’m currently lying on it.

It’s a sofa lounge. We decided we needed a sofa lounge because we won’t have any spare rooms and so we bought a sofa lounge to put in the office. It’s a lovely lounge, but a really shitty bed. But it’s not the only reason I wake up exhausted. It seems that we have a monkey living in the ceiling. And he enjoys a game of tennis at about 2am. Then he has a bit of a rest before he does a spot of marathon training at 4am. It makes some mad noises up there. I was lying here the other night thinking WTF? I even sent my daughter Kimba a text saying – are you throwing a tennis ball against your wall? She wasn’t. So we’ve put some poison up there and hopefully we kill a giant rat and not a monkey or a possum or the next door neighbour Poppy’s cat.

The other day Daz and I were talking about the painting that still had to be done and he said – I think I’ll leave the gorilla there. And I thought wow, we’ve upgraded from a monkey to a gorilla. But then I remembered the ladder is called the gorilla.

It all reminded me of the kids book – There’s a Hippopotamus on Our Roof Eating Cake. That was a good read.

Pink and puke part two

Can someone please come over here and kick me and remind me of the time two years ago when I said I’d never paint the interior of a house again. Then can you give me a neck massage because it’s all crinked up from painting a bastard angled ceiling.

I’m back in the house of pink and puke painting what will be our bedroom. I’m really wishing that Wayne, who owned the house previously, did not have such a love of the wallpaper freize. I’m sick of scraping them off. And I was alarmed the other day when an architect friend of ours told me that wallpaper is making a comeback. Must make a note to myself to never buy a wallpapered house.

So as you can see he carried on the pink and puke colour scheme but added a nice brown feature wall. If I had to name the colour I’d call it – Baby needs to get to a doctor soon diarrhea colour.

And there’s just so much to paint. Two doors, a window, beams, sloping ceiling. And it’s busy on the ceiling with lights, fan, alarm. Mind you I wouldn’t turn the fan on, it has about twenty years of dust attached to the blades.

Lol at the red feature strip. That was under the freize. It was nicely done wasn’t it.

And then there was a section of the wall that was covered in mirror tiles and when I pulled them off I found this little disaster.

I don’t think any amount of spakfiller and sandpaper will make that pretty again. Actually do you know whats harder to get off than a freize? Those little double sided tape things that he stuck the tiles on with. Luckily most of that will be covered by a built in robe.

Back to work. Photo’s to come soon.

two bags full

I went to the bottle shop yesterday and bought three bottles of wine. I said to the guy serving – can I have two bags please, I’m walking. So he put the three bottles in one bag, then put that bag inside another bag. Not what I was expecting really. But it’s okay because I’m as strong as an ox. I have to be. When I met Daz I was a young farm girl but he seems to forget that I’m now almost thirty years older with a bad back and a dodgy elbow.

I said to him through the week – when I go back to do more painting I’m going to need a decent ladder to reach the high ceilings. So here I am, doing more painting, no ladder. I rang him up and said – where’s the ladder? He said – around the side of the house near the switchboard. Helpful I said. Really, if he wanted to find somewhere that was further from the room I needed it, he would have had to have put it in the next door neighbours yard.

So off I went and there it was – the industrial gorilla dual purpose ladder. So I carried it up the side of the house, through the front yard, up the ten steep stairs, through the house to the bedroom. Then I had to get off it’s industrial type packaging which consisted of hard tight plastic, cardboard and cable ties. Of course there isn’t a knife or pair of scissors here that could get through it so I had to use a chisel and hammer.

The funny thing is (not hilariously so), that just the day before Daz was cleaning out The Small Cupboard of Mostly Useless Shit, that lives above the fridge and he pulled out a stanley knife and said to me – Would you ever need this little sharp knife to cut anything? And I said – nah, toss it. When not twenty four hours later there I’d be, wishing I had that little sharp knife to help me release my gorilla from it’s confines.

Sigh, men, what are you going to do though. Can’t live with them, can’t cut them into small pieces and bury them by the side of the road in a shallow grave.

laying carpet, and other things

A quick update on the carpet layer.

Well he turned up on time and then he did a shit in my toilet. Not only did he shit in my toilet, he used all my toilet paper. Yesterday I knew I was going home today so I was rationing the toilet paper. So I was pretty annoyed when I had to make a special trip to the shops to buy more because he’d used every last scrap in the house. Also disturbing was the fact that my bath towel hangs near the hand basin so I couldn’t use it last night because I thought carpet man might have used it after he washed his hands. I’m assuming he washed his hands.

It all seemed unnecessary. I mean people usually have some sort of poo schedule don’t they? You usually have some idea when you’re going to go. This guy rang me at 8am to say he was on his way. He arrived fifteen minutes later, spent five minutes unpacking his truck, then asked me if he could use the toilet. Couldn’t he have just done it at home before he left?

Over the years I’ve spent many days with tradesmen and they’ve very rarely even used the toilet. I thought they must have just been doing a wee around the side of the house when they needed to. When they’re there I always ask them if they want a drink and I show them where the toilet is. But I’ve never before had one of them arrive and then go straight in to do his morning crap!