Daily Prompt: World’s Best Widget

You’ve been granted magical engineering skills, but you can only use them to build one gadget or machine. What do you build?

Well it would be some sort of cone of silence I could put over the house of my neighbours who live across the road. I was going to make some sort of machine that would make them disappear altogether but that seemed a bit mean.

I know everyone thinks they live next to noisy neighbours but I think I win – or lose. Everything about these people is noisy, every bloody thing. The remote that unlocks their car is noisy and they feel the need to check that it’s locked several times a day, their phone is set to the loudest ringer, they slam doors, they have no clue about their house alarm which is constantly being activated, when visitors leave their house they have loud conversations with them from the front verandah, the mother toots her car horn at the kids when she leaves the house and yells out bye, love you about ten times, she yells out at her father who comes to visit and parks right outside my bedroom window and is as noisy as his big mouth daughter and their own god damn daughter who is about five will not do a single thing without having a fight and a tantrum about it first. It goes on.

However I like to look on the positive side of every situation I encounter, so every morning while I’m lying in bed listening to the cacophony produced by them I feel thankful that they don’t own a dog.

 

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16 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: World’s Best Widget

  1. You don’t need engineering skills for that problem. That’s what ninjas and hired assassins are for.

    (To the NSA: I’m kidding. Really. Would never do a contract on a noisy neighbor. Unless they pushed me to the breaking point…..)

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    • Oh poor thing – I do feel sorry for them. I always wonder why those people have dogs anyway. Our dog barks when she’s outside but I’m not kidding – she’s barking at the bloody neighbours cat. It comes and sits under the house right where Chicken can see it through the lattice and just watches her barking. Deep breaths, deep breaths.

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  4. … or that you don’t own a dog that feels the need to bark at every little noise they make …

    An elderly lady used to live in the house next door, and she had her telephone set up to a bell that rang (sounded a lot like the bells they used to use in school to indicate changes in class periods) … and the bell was actually outside her house so that she could hear it when she was out in her garden. Luckily she didn’t get many calls, but when she did everyone on the block knew it.

    • We had one of those phones with the outside ringer when I lived at home but it was on the farm so it was only us and the cows to hear it. Also we were on an exchange so it depended on who was connecting the call down at the shop as to how much of a ring you got.

      I wish someone would send this woman to the farm – and her kids – and her father as well. The husband seems ok.

  5. Pingback: Daily Prompt: World’s Best Widget | The Wandering Poet

  6. I live across the street from a bunch of people from Cuba who always party out in their yard. Cubans don’t ever talk, they always yell!

    This is why God gave us nuclear weapons…

  7. wait, based on this story, you’re living in my house. except you forgot about their GD microwave which is STUPIDLY LOUD and does 3 sets of 3 beeps when it finishes anything. WHYYYY??? Why 9 beeps?!?!?! Whyyyy so often that I know that about it?!?!

    Bonus: When I came home early on Thur I couldn’t get into my driveway because the wife had decided to back out of their driveway, angled, over the 3′ wide curb, and using 1/2 my driveway too. Why? Beats me!!

    • Bonus: mine are currently doing home renovations – slowly.

      Lol at the microwave – we gave them our old one so I know thats not going to wake me up at 6am but their car alarm is like that, it’s like some crazy whooping lonely loon and it doesn’t just whoop once, it’s a series of looney tunes. I dunno if she’s OCD or something but she feels the need the check it constantly. She had a baby about ayear ago and I’m hoping she goes back to work really bloody soon. I’m really hoping one of us has moved by the time her kids are teenagers.

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