Nostalgia

Last week – on the 27th January – it was two years since Dad died. Which kind of does my head in because that whole time is still pretty vivid and feels very current. Not only the weeks leading up to his death but the year before it when we were dealing with hospitals and aged care homes and lots of arseholes in the medical profession that left me wondering why they actually picked it as a profession when they obviously don’t give a shit.

Last year Australia Day was pretty shitty – that’s the 26th – I felt a bit antsy and anxious the whole week leading up to it because it was such a shit time back then but this year it was okay. That’s what happens isn’t it – you live, you die and the world keeps turning and that’s just the way it is and he wouldn’t want it any other way. Obviously I’m sad about him dying but what bothers and upsets me the most is the undignified end you seem to end up coming to not matter how marvellous your life before that was.

It’s a shame he won’t be around for my 50th birthday because that would have been pretty cool – to see your baby turn 50. Actually I’m sure he would have found it much more of a laugh than I’m going to.

Here is a photo of him as a young man with two of his best friends – he’s in the middle. This was taken the night before he set sail from his island home of Guernsey to travel to the other side of the world (or the arse end of the world) Australia, to start a new life.

I’m glad he had that adventurous spirit and set sail that day. Lol, that’s kind of crazy how that’s my Dad, who ended up being a farmer in central NSW.

lads

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8 thoughts on “Nostalgia

  1. Has it been two years already? It doesn’t seem that long ago that you wrote about your father’s death on this blog. It still feels very recent and sad.

    No, we can’t help the way we leave this earth, but that’s why we should make the best of what we have now. I could have a heart attack tomorrow and pee all over myself before dying on the bathroom floor. (Sorry, I know that’s gross, but that’s how the husband of one of my friends went. He was a stodgy, unpleasant person, so I wondered if the universe was giving him a good poke in the ribs before he went.) I really, really do not want to have dementia before I kick the bucket, either. Talk about undignified endings: raving about all these invisible people walking in and out of your room while you’re sitting in wet diapers, unable to recognize your own grandchildren.

    Your father has a Harold Lloyd look there in that picture. He must have been a charmer.

    • Better looking – more Buddy Holly I thought and yes a real charmer. It used to annoy the crap out of me sometimes when I was feeling pissed off at him after a fight, watching him being able to immediately charm someone.

      Yes dementia would suck but at least you wouldn’t know about it. It’s only really bad for the family watching it. I just don’t want to get old and useless at all – I’m hoping euthanasia is an option by the time I get there.

  2. It is three months now since BIL’s death and in so many ways it seems like last week and then in other ways it seems like forever. 13 years for my Dad. They live as long as there are people to remember them.

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