Dear Sweet Sixteen Self,
You could possibly lose this letter because you may already be drunk by now. Maybe you’ll lose it when you sit on Mrs Humphreys front fence and the whole thing falls over and you roll around on the lawn laughing hysterically with the four other girls who will be sitting there when you topple it. Or maybe you’ll lose it out at the cemetery, when you and your friend decide it might be a good idea to go out there at midnight with some older boys who have a car to see if you can find ghosties and spooky things and just scare yourself shitless in general. You won’t but it’s a laugh just running around out there.
I will warn you though that you need to have a good alibi in order before you get back to the house because Mrs Humphreys will put the two of you in different rooms and then interrogate you on where you’ve been, doing what and with whom. We thought she’d be in bed by then and we’d be able to sneak in but this will unfortunately not be the case.
Also – do not give up the names of the older kids who bought you the alcohol because then they’ll never do it for you again. (We didn’t dob).
So basically I’m telling you that it’s important to be a good liar on your 16th birthday and maybe don’t break the fence. Maybe if you don’t break the fence Mrs Humphreys won’t already be so pissed when you try to sneak in later.
Oh and keep those green overalls for as long as you can – because they’re awesome and when you’re 50 you’ll still remember them fondly. In fact, you’ll try to relive the green overall experience with a pair of maternity ones when you’re 26 – not quite the same but they will be pretty awesome as well.