Day 14: a photo of someone you fancy at the moment

This is more like – someone you fancy seeing today or someone you fancy talking to on the phone right about now.

And that person would be my father who died – if you can believe it – one year ago today. Wow, sometimes it feels like a hundred years ago and sometimes it feels like last week. That whole last week is so vivid in my mind, little things like sitting near his bed and hearing the venetian blinds tapping against the window in the breeze, the doctor putting his hand on my shoulder as he walked out the door, speaking to my sister on the phone about how she was thinking of driving to Sydney, the music that was playing on the stereo – funny how things stay so fresh in your mind.

I’m feeling pretty good though – I made a plan to start drinking copious amounts of alcohol yesterday and to keep going through to next Sunday so I can pretty much pretend that the corresponding seven days of last year didn’t happen. I’m a big fan of denial.

Lets not forget Betty either, I miss her as well. I really fancy giving her big bonehead a snoggle at the moment as well, such a good girl she was. Didn’t that suck, having my father and my dog die on the same day.

This is one of the photos Emjay has sent me from her scanning project – Dad with my son Lloyd. Because those of you who have been around for a while might remember that my Dads funeral was on my sons birthday. Unfortunate timing but as he said – at least all the family were there for his birthday.

Dad had already had his stroke here – none of our kids ever knew him beforehand – I was only 22 myself.



24 thoughts on “Day 14: a photo of someone you fancy at the moment

  1. That’s quite a sacrifice for a “kid”. Not that your son would liked to be called one, I guess :). My cousin did the same thing when our grandmother died. And he was only 11. I have been admiring him very much for that.

  2. I sent the princess a nice photo of dad with her as well. Of the grandchildren only the 2 eldest boys knew him pre-stroke – I have some nice photos of him on a motorbike with the Locksmith. Drinking heavily sounds a good idea…

    • Thanks – it’s not too bad actually – as long as no one tries to talk to me about it, lol. My grandfathers middle name was Lloyd and we’ve come across a few old Lloyds but only one young one over the past 21 years.

  3. Your kids may not have known your father as the active man he was when you were a child, but it looks to me from that picture that he was a wonderful grandfather. Not all kids get that: some men never warm up to the role, or just aren’t around when the grandkids arrive. My sister’s father-in-law doesn’t even know the name of his grandchildren. He once yelled at my niece, “Hey you, girl! Get me some tea!” Which made me think he doesn’t deserve being called “grandpa.”

    Good memories are often warmed by good wine. Hope you were able to enjoy both.

    • Lol, that’s terrible! I’m lolling though because my husbands father always called our son – boy – but I knew he never meant anything by it, it just sounded terrible. Honestly, I don’t know how my father was as a grandfather, I know he loved his family fiercely but I’m not sure how that translated to them. When my kids were at school and they had grandparents day, I had to get my friends parents to come and be the grandparents because my own parents couldn’t come. I dunno, life is all kinds of fucked up though isn’t it, you just do the best you can.

    • I guess I can bear it – only if it just goes for a couple of seconds though and doesn’t involve firm prolonged contact.

      I had the wierdest dream the other night and you were in it. You had this sort of Donna Summer look going on and we were in the Woolworths car park. I was with a friend of mine and we were eating something and you got out of a ute in this white sort of disco outfit with a massive fro pulled tight in a high pony. I think the combination of watching the Bee Gees special and the excitement of the upcoming ABBA one has revived all my disco era memories. Not sure how you snuck in there though. Dreams, funny.

      • Isn’t that funny? Strange how our brains take all these obscure snapshots throughout the day then mush them all together into a big bizarro-fest while you sleep. Dream me sounds a hell of a lot cooler than actual me.

  4. That’s a wonderful photo.

    I’m so sorry, Jane.

    It took a bunch of years but eventually the anniversary of losing my mom became less painful. But I still miss her terribly at certain times when I always used to see or call her.

        • Still young though – lol the closer I get to fifty the younger the sixties seem to be, practically spring chickens. My mother will be celebrating her 80th this year and she remembers turning 60 and thinking how old she was getting. But yes, your parents are your parents no matter what age.

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