Day 13: Three confessions of your choice

I’m not really big on disclosure. Mine or others.

The absolute worst thing about going back to school (besides gaining five kilo) was going to a class for the first time, or meeting a new teacher and they’d want you to – tell us a bit about yourself. What do you do,why are you here, what do you hope to gain.

Why? Why does everyone or anyone in this room need to know one single thing about me? how is it going to make me learn anything about the subject. My friend used to laugh and say I was like a KGB operative I was so shady about myself.

Had to laugh at one girl though – she loved that disclosing shit. I can tell you every single drama and tragedy and bad experience that girl has ever experienced if you’re interested. Actually its hard to believe that her self-esteem was ever low enough for her to end up in some of the situations she did because she certainly had the confidence to get up in a room full of strangers and talk about herself. A lot.

Also I’m not about to confess any of the stupid (yet slightly thrilling) things I did as a teenager that could lead to the criminal record I have thus far avoided. The internet’s memory travels far far away into strange places people so it’s best to  just keep your lips zipped about anything you may feel the urge to blurt no matter how long ago they happened. It’s ok, I’m not dangerous or anything, no one was harmed.

Okay, so, let me think.

I ate the last three Oreos then lay in bed and listened to my husband and daughter accuse each other of eating them. I never eat sweet things so they’d never even suspect me of eating them but I was just walking past and saw them so I ate them and then I listened to them call each other fat liars.

Once I ripped the plastic cover off a library book so I could run my fingers over the raised pattern on the front and when I returned the book I suggested that they might need to cover their books a bit better because the cover had just fallen off. (It was a werewolf and he had big fangs and blood was dripping from them and I really needed to feel it – one of my favourite parts of reading a new book is running my fingers over the cover if its interesting.)

One time I was cooking fish for dinner and I thought it was a bit off, a bit smelly, so I served it up to everyone but I didn’t have any. They all survived.

Oh and I don’t celebrate Australia Day – never have. I don’t like to sound like an old fuddy duddy but it’s a really good day to stay at home because if you go out all you’re going to see is a lot of drunk wankers roaming about wearing flags and yelling Aussie Aussie Aussie. My son used to work at Subway and he always said that Australia Day and Anzac day were the two days that you never wanted to be working there because you had to deal with so many drunk idiots.


16 thoughts on “Day 13: Three confessions of your choice

  1. True. That group stuff is really, really annoying. Hate it every time I have to do it. Only with age I have become better to fake it. If asked directly about things in a one on one conversation is fine.

    Been doing the newspaper stand for about 9 months a few years ago. They sold a variety of hot dogs and during weekends there too were loads of drunks too. Horrible. I think that was about the time when I stopped going out on weekends and developed a high intolerance towards stupidly drunk people.

    • Putting plastic on books was the worst idea libraries ever had and for not only that reason. Once I took a library book to the beach and the amount of sand that became trapped between the plastic and the book was alarming. I was almost too ashamed to return it. it definitely had a nice texture by the time I’d finished with it.

  2. I hate it when you have to do the intro time and time again with the same group of people. Geez. They get it. They know who I am. Next time, I’m gonna just start making things up. It will serve them right. “Hi! My name is Katie and I keep to show elephants in my garden.”

    • No one would probably be listening anyway, I know I don’t. I usually just say its none of their business but maybe I’ll make us some stuff next time as well – I do quite like the idea of a giraffe in my garden. Ours was often a trick question by the teachers to be a smart arse anyway – they say, why do you want to work in a library? and everyone goes – weeelllll I really like books and reading and the teacher cuts them off and says – well if you like reading don’t work in a library because you’ll never have time to read. And I felt like going up and punching them in the face at that point because as if we all expected we were going to get a job in a library and sit around and read all day. Mind you having said that- the places where I did my placement were so bloody boring I would have had time to read at least a book a day.

  3. Isn’t there a ferry race on Sydney Harbour? We used to be able to see it from Neutral Bay without leaving the flat – that was the closest we ever got to Australia Day celebrations I think.

    • Well that would possibly be more exciting but with a more massive crowd to go with it. What we have are tug boats doing a ballet. Lol. Actually no I think the ferry race would be worse.

  4. The oreo thing made me laugh! I also hate that ‘tell us about yourself’ nonsense. like geez why don’t you just ask for my blog URL. I guess it’s supposed to be a bit of an ice breaker. well guess what, Teach, we can talk to other people if we want without your help.
    Australia Day sounds like most of our holidays. (except no one shouts Aussie Aussie Aussie)

    • Lol, not until we invade you and turn you into Aussies anyway – or Ossies as I often hear you guys call us.

      I could eat all the chocolate in the house and no one would ever believe I ate it. I’ve set myself up nicely.

    • Lol, gasp – you’re like the Black Widow!! See now thats exactly the sort of thing you shouldn’t put on the web – now if he drops dead they’ll read all sorts of things into that ‘questionable food’ comment.

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