I’m up!! And I’m even going to leave the house today for the first time in eleven days – I hope I can remember how to drive. I’m going to the library to get a few things and then I’ll have to go to the supermarket which sucks and I’m thinking about going to the outdoor furniture shop to buy a sun lounge because yesterday Chicken Little and I sat in the sun for about an hour and decided that even though it was lovely that it would have been much nicer if we’d been able to lie down.
I have this really annoying cough that won’t go away though – a mad tickle in my throat that is impossible to ignore. But it’s a useless cough that doesn’t do anything except relieve the tickle for about five seconds. I try to ignore the tickle but it’s impossible because every time I breathe and air gets in there it aggravates it so I have to take these little shallow breaths like a dolphin. They’re shallow breathers you know.
I was thinking this morning that I’d like to go somewhere warm soon for a holiday – I might head to Cairns like everyone else seems to be doing, or Darwin, or Hamilton Island. I was thinking that I’d like to go to Hawaii for christmas but then I remembered you crazy americans have that no drinking until 21 law so that means Lizzie would have to stay home alone every night while we all went out raging. So that will have to wait until next year when she’s 21. Maybe Tahiti would be nice; nice and expensive I think but not too far away. I’m a terrible traveller, I get bored really easily. It’s like when you try and sunbake and you think you’ve been out there baking for about two hours at least and you’ve only been out there for about twenty minutes. That’s what it was like when I caught the train to Sydney last year, it just seemed to go on forever and there wasn’t even a dining car. I thought it was going to be something like the Orient Express and I’d be off to the dining car for snacks and drinks but no such luck, best offer I had was from the woman sitting next to me who offered me an apple which wasn’t quite the same.
Thats the trouble with living in Australia, we’re so bloody far from everywhere. Thats why everyone just lurks about Bail and Thailand although even Thailand is still a 14 hour flight. Trouble with Australia is that you have to fly for five hours before you even leave Australia and now they have those maps on the back of the seats with the little plane flying so you can watch every excruciatingly slow hour pass.
Oh and I just wanted to mention something about that new come and see Australia advertisement that I’ve seen on television. I have never, in my entire life, ever had a kanagaroo hop up to me on the beach for a pat on the head so don’t think thats going to happen if you come here. And in fact if you do see a kangaroo hopping up to you in the wild I’d run away and climb a tree because it’s probably about to rip your stomach open with it’s sharp claws.