Done deal

I finished my TAFE course yesterday and I have a Diploma in Library/Information Services to say so. I can’t work out if that day I started the course 18 months ago seems like five minutes ago or a thousand years ago. I didn’t feel as excited about finishing as I was hoping to, I just walked out the gate for the last time and that was that; the world hadn’t changed, I hadn’t changed and no one really gave a rats arse about it, myself included.

A lot went on during that 18 months; Dad was sick for most of the year and then of course died, Betty died, Mum had her final radiation treatments for breast cancer, my best friend ended our 20 year friendship because she decided she only liked bright shiny new things to match her bright shiny new boyfriend and I left my home of twenty years and moved house. In between it was just assignment after assessment after essay and day after day sitting in a bare grey class room, so I just decided to put everything aside, concentrate on the school work and then think about them all later.

And now it’s later. So I’ll just take a couple of weeks I think and let my brain process everything before I decide what to do next. Anyway it’s really annoying how people say ‘so what are you going to do now’ because I might do absolutely bugger all now.

I had this dream on Thursday – Daz was talking to Mum on the phone and he wasn’t saying much, just listening and I started feeling anxious and when he finished the call I said to him ‘when you’re talking to Mum don’t be all quiet like that, you made me think that Dad was dead’ and he said ‘he is dead’ and I sort of laughed and said ‘oh, thats right’.

We’re having a wake in about a month when Emjay gets back and I guess that’ll sort of round all that episode out, finish it up in a way.

The first thing I’m going to do is have a massage on Monday, my neck is killing me, it feels as if it’s had concrete poured in there and I can’t move it any direction very far, I must carry tension there. Plus I can feel a migraine coming on as well and a cold. Bodies are funny things aren’t they, marvellous really – it’s as if it kept me going when I needed it to but now that I’ve finished it’s going to have a little mini breakdown on me. I don’t mind though, it just means I can spend a couple of weeks in bed catching up on movies and scanning in Mum and Dads honeymoon photos. So stay tuned for more photos.

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10 thoughts on “Done deal

  1. Congratulations on having finished your degree. Yes, you deserve a rest. I was amazed you were able to continue working when so much was going on in your life, particularly following your father’s death and the death of Betty. Celebrate your accomplishment—hopefully Daz will take you out for a proper party—and get some rest. You’ll be a terrific librarian when you decide to go out and conquer the world.

    • I really made a conscious decision to put it on the back burner and deal with it later. I didn’t even tell any of my teachers and only two classmates knew and one of them only because she worked in the dress shop where I bought something to wear to the funeral. I am a big fan of denial.

      Re the job prospects, there’s not much around, especially not where I am. It’s a job that people stay in for a long time so we need a few old codgers to retire so we can have a chance.

    • Thanks. My goal at the start was just to ‘do something’ and to make sure I still had a brain rattling about up there, now I don’t really know what the point of it was. I did make a very very good friend so even if that’s all that comes from it, it’d be enough for me.

      • I’m a fan of “knowledge for the sake of knowledge”. And even if don’t use the skills in the most obvious path, I’m sure they’ll figure into your life somehow.

  2. I am a big fan of this expression “Things happen for a reason at the time they are happening” – though like everybody else I don’t like being told when I am in the middle of the situation …. I assume you’ll feel the same way. So I won’t say it 😉 But it is true 😀
    Instead: big ‘Congrats!’! on your degree and maybe after you have been able to deal with the back burner-stuff you’ll be able to enjoy it.
    If not – do something else to work the brain out 😛

    • This year is racing away for me, once Emjay has been back for a visit, it’ll be spring and then crazy people will start talking about Christmas and then it’ll be over.

  3. Congratulations – the end is always such a let down, but it is still a wonderful achievement. You think you haven’t changed, but education always does change you, in ways you never expected. I hope that you find a happy place to use your skills.

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