You learn something new every day

I had a pelvic ultrasound yesterday. You probably know the drill but if you don’t it goes like this.

8.30am – empty bladder.
8.30 to 9.30 – drink 1 litre of water
10.30 appointment – still holding

I was sitting in the waiting room hoping they were running on time when I saw a notice on the front desk saying – If you have been waiting longer than 30 minutes, please advise staff. And I thought to myself – if I’m waiting much longer than 5 minutes I can assure you the staff are going to be advised.

Mop and bucket to aisle 5 please.

So anyway I got in there and lay down and the girl started pushing the ultrasound thingy around my pelvis and she said – Oh, your bladder is full isn’t it!

Really?? Tell me something I don’t know.

Which she then did.

She told me I must be a well hydrated person because with well hydrated people it doesn’t take much water to fill the bladder. She said they tell people to drink a litre of water because most people don’t drink enough water so even if they drink a litre it barely fills the bladder. Apparently well hydrated people like myself could just drink 500mls of water and have a perfectly acceptable sized bladder for the procedure.

Which is something I wish I’d known before I drank a litre.


10 thoughts on “You learn something new every day

  1. I don’t think medical professionals get that some of us need to empty our bladders more frequently than others. I can still recall every agonizing minute I spent in a periodontist’s chair, wanting to use the bathroom while he performed a root canal. When he finally stopped for a few minutes to let the cement dry on my cap, I asked him if I could use the restroom. He graciously agreed, but then told me I had to leave his office and use the restroom down the hall. So I ran to the ladies’ room in my paper bib with the strange metalwork he had stuck in my mouth. It just so happened a woman and her little boy were using the restroom when I ran in. They gawked, and the boy whispered something to his mother. I’m sure I made their day; the periodontist sure made mine. :p

  2. I found the whole “did we forget to tell you that we basically use a dildo up your vajayjay for this procedure – and that we’re going to have a trainee here too?” to be far more traumatizing than any straining bladder could ever be! Fortunately, my former boss had the exact same experience and we laugh about it all the time… usually right after several of us share colonoscopy prep stories. This is what my life has become at 49.

    • I refused the dildo part. I just had the external thing done because I don’t even have anything wrong with me it was just a check up before I get an IUD so I said – no thanks, if the doctor really wants the internal I’ll think about coming back. I had one once and not too keen for another one.

        • Lol, I know – and a man did mine as well which was kind of weird. But after that, a few births, pap tests and mammograms done I’ve got nothing left to give. Mind you I haven’t had a colonoscopy so I suppose I have one more thing.

          • it’s not the colonoscopy is bad – they give you good drugs for that. It’s the prep solution. I didn’t mind the “effect”, it was drinking a gallon of “sea water” that did me in. But I hear there’s a new prep drink which is much smaller and not as gross. I won’t, under ANY circumstances, drink that sea water again.

          • Daz has to have them fairly often as he has diverticulitis and his father died from bowel cancer. The first time he had one he drank the prep drink then took the dog for a walk – I said, I don’t think you should be going too far from the house right now. His problem was always being so hungry by the next day when they did it.

  3. Mr. LT had a colonoscopy recently. The liter of prep stuff still tastes awful.

    I had the liter of liquid and the outside thing (yes, put something warm on my abdomen and then push on it with a metal/plastic thingy), and the dildo wand without liquid. Wouldn’t want both at the same time. Neither would the person I’d be peeing on.

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