I’m back on the treadmill

Not literally. Not back on the treadmill thats sitting in the shed getting dusty. I’m talking about the treadmill of life.

Is that what they even say – on the treadmill? Maybe it’s a hamster wheel. Whatever it is, I’m busy.

School started back again early February and we’ve been flat out because there is only four months to go and a few weeks of that will be work placement so we have to belt out all our assignments before May.

I’m trying to concentrate on each assessment or assignment as they come in order and not worry about the one due at the end of April when there are still three due before that anyway.

I’ll be really glad when this is all over and I can sit back, put my feet up and say, holy crap that was one crazy 18 months I just had. Studying full time and working as well as trying to keep a hobby business going at the same time has been harder than I thought it would be. Throw in all the goings on we had with my father and it’s been a pretty long haul.

I started back at TAFE two days after Dads funeral. I really could have done with a week off because watching someone you love die is bloody hard work and very tiring. But sometimes I think its just easier to put a smile on your face and pretend everythings ok. I figured if I had a week off then everyone would know my business and when I started back everyone would either be feeling sorry for me and wanting to talk to me about it or avoiding me because they didn’t know what to say which can be worse. So I just went back and didn’t say anything to any of my teachers or classmates. Lol, only one guy and that was because he was always asking me about Betty and how she was going. The first day back he told me that he’d had to have his dog put to sleep so I said that we’d had to have Betty put to sleep as well and then I just threw in that my father had died as well just in case he found out later and thought I was more upset about Betty dying than Dad.

I know, it sounds stupid but it’s impossible to know when to throw the information into a conversation and it makes people feel awkward. Someone says – how’s your father? and I say – oh he died and they get a bit flustered and then I think that I maybe should have mentioned it earlier but there just never seems to be the right moment.

But anyway I’m racing off now to get ready for school. Asignment for the weekend – Read a genre of book you’ve never read before and give an 8 minute presentation about it. So for me that would be romance, Mills and Boon in particular. All I can say is that at least it is very short.


7 thoughts on “I’m back on the treadmill

  1. My children have had to endure awkward silences from classmates and friends when they’re asked about their father, who died when they were all very young. They’ve joked about having to console people who become upset about the news, though I’ve told them to just let people absorb the news and not take their reactions personally. Most young people haven’t dealt with a death in the family, so they have no idea what to say. I am surprised at the number of older adults who get flustered at the news of a death, however. A colleague at work simply turned and walked away, mumbling, “I didn’t need to hear that on a Monday” when we learned a co-worker had suddenly died over the weekend.

    The treadmill can be a relief from sadness, but do remember to give yourself a break when you can.

    • One of my teachers 20 year old son was killed in a car accident on Thursday so it’ll be intersting to see how everyone handles that when she comes back. It will be pretty awful for her I imagine having to stand up there in front of everyone knowing we all feel so sorry for her.

  2. I kind of like the expression ‘rat race’. Not that it is much better – but in my head it is more of a forward moving motion then a hamster wheel. Treading in one place … meh!
    When all is done you really deserve to lean back and relax. But even with all the messy stuff inbetween – you sound happy to me…?

    • Yes, hamster wheel is going no where I guess whereas least at the end of this I will have a Diploma.

      Yeah, I’m happy I guess. Not deliriously so but I am an optimist and that always makes life better.

    • Technical and Further Education. It’s where you go to learn a trade. Butchers, bakers, electricians, shipbuilders, hairdressers etc and library technicians of course.

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