Jane

My best friend at the moment is Jane. She’s the navigator in my GPS thing. My TomTom. We have a troubled sort of relationship because I don’t really trust her yet and she thinks I’m stupid. I have no sense of direction. When we drive anywhere I pay no attention at all, so just because I’ve been somewhere once that doesn’t mean I’d be able to find it a second time. So I bought a tomtom and I go where Jane tells me. Most of the time. I’ve discovered I have no sense of distance. Jane tells me to turn left in 800 metres and I drive along for a bit and think – I must have gone at least 800 metres – and I turn. And then I see Jane recalculating my trip because I’ve only gone about 400 metres. If there was an option for her to roll her eyes and sigh wearily she’d do it at least once every trip we take together. She must feel like coming out and slapping me. And don’t you just hate those right lane must turn right lanes. We’ve had a few disagreements over them. Mainly because she wants me to be going straight. Today I’m meeting an old friend for lunch and it’s out of my zone a bit so I decided on Monday to take Jane for a test drive just so I knew where I was going. I didn’t go right to their house of course because I don’t want them to think I’m a stalker or a weirdo. And I almost found my way home by myself. They are a marvellous invention though. Without mine I’d be stuck in the house or on the bus my whole life.

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20 thoughts on “Jane

  1. My aunt’s GPS is named Dorothy, after my mother’s mother-in-law. Because it doesn’t. stop. nagging.

    lol.

    I like the navigator in my phone, she tells my husband where to drive and he can’t get cranky with me for freaking out and giving him the wrong directions!

  2. Well, at least you haven’t gotten into trouble listening to Jane. A couple of years ago when GPS units were just becoming popular, there were several awful stories in the news about people who’d followed the instructions on their GPS and ended up stuck in wilderness areas buried in snow or worst. You would think common sense would have told them they were headed for trouble when they saw that the roads weren’t cleared or, in one case, gated. But the excuse by most of the people was that they asked for the fastest and most direct available, and they took it, right into hell’s mouth.

    But I love that my older daughter’s MIL never listens to her GPS because she’s too busy talking on her bluetooth. Then she suddenly realizes she’s missed her turn and will stomp on the brakes in speeding traffic. When this happens I start thinking about how I should look over my papers and see if my will needs to be updated.

    • I’d be really hesitant to use it out on country roads. You’d have to make sure you upgraded it often. I love this one for around the city though, she can always find a way out for me. Well so far anyway.

  3. You are lucky that your best friend is atleast OUTSIDE of you. My best friend Lakshmi is IN my head, and she gives me no end of trouble when I drive. You know…yacking yacking all the time when I am supposed to be deciding between raising the finger to the guy overtaking me on the right, or avoiding the goat that just crossed the road.
    Oh well.

  4. I would probably throw one of those things out the window. I can see the value of them for some people in some situations, but I’ve also seen many people taking sudden exits off highways and driving in the wrong direction because, “My GPS told me to go this way!”

    • Well you see plenty of people doing that without the help of a GPS. Anyway I tend to turn so far before I’m meant to that I don’t make any sudden moves. Then I just cruise about until she finds me a new way to stuff up. I do sometimes worry that one day I’ll end up on the freeway to Sydney and not be able to turn for about an hour.

  5. We paid $10 to get a GPS in a rental car when we were going out to friends in Virginia. We knew the way we wanted to go for about the first 6 miles and it was not the way the lady wanted us to go – she started to sound pretty cranky having to do all that recalculating and then she just stopped working altogether! LOL We had to stop the car; pull the GPS out of the lighter and re-enter the addresses before she would co-operate!

    • Jane always wants me to go a different way than the signs want me to. And I find she doesn’t start talking soon enough. So when I head off and get to a t intersection she still hasn’t told me what to do so I have to make a decision myself.

  6. I prefer to find places the old fashioned way – “This FEELS like the right way to go…”

    My son calls it zen orienteering. Works for me and I don’t have to be groused at incessantly by an electronic upstart. Especially when I have Mr. sKz to do that for me.

    • I was doing a bit that on Friday. I was so pleased with myself because I’d done everything right but then I blew it at the end and had to have a feel about.

  7. Opps ha ha! I use the GPS in my cell phone almost every day, I can’t go anywhere without it LOL! I use it to see where I am, haha!Maybe I have to try the voice thing too.. 🙂

    • I use My Maps on my Iphone all the time as well. It’s just a pity it doesn’t speak so it’s not really safe for driving – not for me anyway. I like Jane talking to me because I don’t have to look at her just listen.

  8. LMAO *never* trust the GPS. They can be horribly wrong too. I do have a sense of direction. And even if I haven’t been to a place yet and only have a certain idea of where I am heading I am mostly finding my way. Many times I am quicker and easier there on my own sense of direction as if I would follow Ms GPS. She sucks!

    • You should come over here and just drive around with me for a while then. My husband is like that, he just about has all of Sydney mapped out in his brain from years of living and working there. I was lost down there once with two friends trying to drive home and we rang him up and said – we’re in Carlington, theres a big house on the left and how do we get home? And he guided us over the phone.

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