there’s a monkey in my roof but he’s not eating cake

Home is not where the heart is.

It’s where ever your big beautiful comfy king sized bed is.

And that’s not where I am at the moment. I’m back painting again at the new house, (we’re moving in next week) so my bed isn’t with me. And I didn’t think it would be possible to find anything more uncomfortable to sleep on than The Futon From Hell, but not only did I find it, I bought it. And I’m currently lying on it.

It’s a sofa lounge. We decided we needed a sofa lounge because we won’t have any spare rooms and so we bought a sofa lounge to put in the office. It’s a lovely lounge, but a really shitty bed. But it’s not the only reason I wake up exhausted. It seems that we have a monkey living in the ceiling. And he enjoys a game of tennis at about 2am. Then he has a bit of a rest before he does a spot of marathon training at 4am. It makes some mad noises up there. I was lying here the other night thinking WTF? I even sent my daughter Kimba a text saying – are you throwing a tennis ball against your wall? She wasn’t. So we’ve put some poison up there and hopefully we kill a giant rat and not a monkey or a possum or the next door neighbour Poppy’s cat.

The other day Daz and I were talking about the painting that still had to be done and he said – I think I’ll leave the gorilla there. And I thought wow, we’ve upgraded from a monkey to a gorilla. But then I remembered the ladder is called the gorilla.

It all reminded me of the kids book – There’s a Hippopotamus on Our Roof Eating Cake. That was a good read.


19 thoughts on “there’s a monkey in my roof but he’s not eating cake

  1. Ugh my mom bought a sofabed for our shore house a few years back, and I went down overnight when it was new. Now at the time it was just me and her there (and my dog) and there are now 5 bedrooms in that house and she made me sleep on the damn sofabed (god forbid I should dirty a bed when more important people are coming the following day). Never again. I may as well have been sleeping on the driveway. I think those things are only good for smaller kids. I remember loving sleeping on the sofabed when I was a kid. But then, they were probably made better in the 1970s, also I was sleeping on a cot back then. a metal cot with a half inch thick plastic mattress. You can see I am the least favorite.
    anyway. good luck with the monkey (haha @ the gorilla!)

    • Lol – mothers! This one I bought has a spring mattress – that was one of it’s selling features. But seeing as how the mattress is only about 4 inches thick you feel every one of those springs digging into your back. After next Tuesday I’ll hopefully never have to sleep in it again.

  2. When my kids came over for Christmas, I forbid my father from pulling out their old sofa bed. The thing is so lumpy it’s like sleeping on rocks and it smells like, well, an old man. It’s actually more comfortable to sleep on the sofa itself, which is what I did through the holidays.

    I’m curious to find out what you eventually catch up there in the attic. Hopefully it’s not too horrific.

    (I was watching “The Grudge” the other night, sorry. It made me slam shut all of the closet doors and push heavy objects up against them.)

    • Same – I could lie around on the actual lounge all day. Very comfy. Lol at the old man smell. What would your father say if he read all the things you wrote about him!

      I’m hoping it’s just a rat, I’d hate to kill a marsupial of some kind. God knows how it even gets inside – we must have a massive hole somewhere. We went up into the roof (well I didn’t) and couldn’t see any sign that anything had been up there – it’s just in the roof space, no attic. Actually houses here don’t have attics. I’m hoping whatever it is just goes away and dies somewhere else. We’re hoping it doesn’t die in the wallspace somewhere and stink the house out for weeks because that happened to friends of ours when a bird died in their wall.

  3. Jesus! You’ve been painting that house forever! Use the big brush! lol

    We bought a sofa-bed when we moved into our house because he have no spare bedrooms. We slept on the sofa-bed once. Once. Now we have an air mattress to go over the god-damned thing if we ever have to sleep on it again!

    • Lol – I have small hands. I tried using a roller but god that was a disaster – harder than it looks.

      Good thinking with the mattress on the mattress. I got the thickest doona I could find and put it on top of the sofa bed mattress under the sheet and it’s slightly better. Spell check doesn’t like doona – quilt then.

  4. I very recently re-established contact with someone I adored, who went through a very messy divorce and went MIA. I figure the relationship, and drama, weren’t about me and didn’t involve me – and I’m not BFFs with the ex – so I’m not going to hold it against her. Life happens. It’s messy sometimes. I still like having friends.

      • I found it! Yeah, life gets messy and they can’t just stay together to keep me happy but it’s hard to be neutral, especially when you see more of one than the other. Although I must say they have both been very good and haven’t been talking badly about each other to us because that would be awful. I’ll just go with the flow and hope it all sorts itself and everyone finds their happy place.

    • I’m not sure. I’ll be going back there tomorrow night so I’ll see then I guess. When I was there through the past week it was quieter but Chicken Little still sits there looking at the walls with her ears all perky. I don’t really want to see it, poor thing – I feel bad about killing it even if it is a dirty great disease riddled rat. Ok, well maybe not sorry for it but I don’t like to think of it having an awful death.

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