smells like dog

Where do you find one of those dogs that doesn’t smell?

I know they’re out there because I’ve touched some. I’ve just never had one for myself. You know those ones, you pat them then smell your hands and nothing, no need at all to whip out the handwash.

The dogs I’ve owned have all been stinkers. Betty is terribly on the nose. People always come here and see her and turn stupid. They say – isn’t she cute in their best doggy voice, then they get down and pat her and I just roll my eyes and grimace because I know they’re going to be sneaking off looking for some soap and water pretty soon. Sometimes when I hear them say that I wonder if another small cute dog has wandered into our yard and they’re talking to it. Like Chicken Little maybe. But I think she smells more doggy than Betty. Her breath certainly does. I inhaled a direct hit of it on the weekend.

I call Chicken Miss Sweaty Pits. She always has these clammy sweaty armpits. And some know it all told Kimba that dogs don’t sweat but he only needs to stick his hand in Chicken’s pits and he’d know that’s a lie.

And yes they get washed and their beds get washed. It doesn’t make any difference. Twenty minutes later, stinky again. The pet shop gave us some awful spray cologne but we didn’t use that for long because you just ended up with a combination of dog smell and sweet nastiness. Like when people try to mask their BO smell with deodorant. You’re not fooling anyone.

And I can’t stand any of those room fresheners. Anyway most of them give Daz a hayfever attack. Although the ads on tv make me laugh. There’s one where the Dad and kids are sitting on the lounge watching television and Mum must think they’re all on the nose a bit because she comes in with a spray can and gives the room a good spray, especially right above them. Seriously they must be damp by the time she’s finished. And one woman gives her lounge such a going over with the can of Glen 20 that the next person who sits in it is going to have a nasty wet spot on their pants. But my favourite is the freshener that plugs in to the powerpoint and squirts out a blast of scented spray at intervals. I always imagine someone walking past just as it sprays out. You get a blast of it in the side of the head.

And they never really smell nice. Or natural as they claim. Straight from nature. Yeah right. Maybe I need to stock up on some candles.

Chicken’s Day.

Chicken and Monkey Mark get some morning sun.


Chicken and Monkey Mark need some sunnies

Chicken tries on some new clothes

the chicken's new clothes

Chicken does  handstands

chicken does handstands

Chicken has an afternoon nap




19 thoughts on “smells like dog

  1. LOL!! Great post. You made me laugh because I can relate. My kids tell me that Chloe has “death breath!” Since I cannot smell right now, I suppose this is one time that that is a good thing. My youngest daughter bathes out dogs. They seem to smell the worst when they have been sweating , you know, after sitting in the sun spot or being outside for too long. There are some breads that tend to have more of an odor than others. I don’t think Livvy is too smelly but it has been awhile since I was able to give her the sniff test. I love the pictures you posted!

    • Ha – what is it with that breath!! Chicken has chicken wings and denta bones but it still stinks. And she likes to get real up close and personal with you as well. If you lie down she sits on your chest so there’s no avoiding it. She needs a toothbrush I think.

      I remember patting this dog once and it was so soft and my hands didn’t have any smell on them at all. It was amazing.

  2. We have this spray we use on our pup called “Baby Dog”. It smells like baby powder, but it’s not very strong. I don’t use it often, usually only in the long winter months between groomings. He’s not generally a very stinky dog, but he definitely has his moments sometimes!

    • Lol – just imagining Betty wearing Baby Dog. We have to wash Betty in the shower now with the detachable nozzle because she can’t get her ears wet inside. Then we blow dry her. My daughter has taken her to the car wash and washed her. I’m presuming they have a dog wash section and she didn’t go through the car wash.

  3. awwww Chicken Little is so cute.

    I hate to tell you but Elvis is one of those dogs that doesn’t smell. It’s a miracle. He hadn’t had a bath in at least a year and was about as doggy smelling as he could get and even that wasn’t bad. if he was in the rain you could smell him a little and after I’d pet him a while I’d get a little bit of that residue on my hands, but still not that bad. I bathed him a couple weeks ago and he’s all good again. His breath was never too bad either, even now that he’s older it’s not horrendous.
    I guess I just got lucky on my first pet ever. Sometimes it has to do with diet but generally I think it’s a Dog Thing.

    • She is cute, but sort of retarded I think.

      There goes my nervous dogs smell more theory. I thought dogs that were more highly strung might be smellier. But Elvis is kind of highly strung. You know how when you’re nervous and sweat it’s different than when you’re hot and sweat. Well that’s how it works for me anyway.

      • yeah, I don’t think it has to do with nerves like humans. But man, we had a German exchange student who stunk to high heaven. Thank god he wasn’t at our house, he was my friend’s exchange student. He didn’t stink when we went to Germany though so that was what we figured, it was nerves. He was just as weird back in Germany though.

        • Lol, well he was probably nervous because he thought you were going to cut his head off and put it in the freezer. His mother probably warned him about people like that. That’s what I did when Lloyd went to America. Tried to scare him about stranger danger USA style. It was right when that guy cut off someones head on a greyhound bus or something a couple of years ago. He was probably sweating like a mofo the whole time he was there.

  4. Our Josie, a half miniature poodle half-Pomeranian, was a reeky little guy, and poodles aren’t supposed to smell as bad as say, short-haired dogs like boxers and rottweilers. I tried washing him every month, but in the winter it dried out his skin and it always took forever to get all the wet out of his coat.

    I finally gave up and just started wiping down the carpet and upholstery with a mild solution of orange-scented detergent. It worked, somewhat. But I confess now I miss that dog so much, I kept his little fleece jacket, which still smells a little like Jo.

    • Aww, that’s nice. I can’t imagine keeping one of Betty’s blankets. Betty is short hair and Chicken has practically no hair. I can never understand how a dog with so little hair can leave so much of it all over the house.

      I definitely won’t be buying a fabric lounge while they’re still around.

  5. “I know they’re out there ”

    Really? I have never owned a dog, but many of my friends have. The moment I enter their house, this really really strong doggy smell would hit me right between the eyes. So, I always believed that doggy smell is a granted when you have one. Being sensitive on the olfactory side, this has been my greatest deterrent to having a dog.

    • They are out there. I’ve only met a couple but they were lovely. No odor at all. If I ever get another dog it will be top of my list – smell free.

  6. I’ve got the whole family of mutts here and they all stink within 24 hours of a bath! I’ve given up bathing them every couple of weeks. They get their seasonal wash now, just like people in the 1800s.

    • Lol – when we lived in Sydney we had a red cattle dog and whenever we went back to the farm for a visit she’d be straight out of the car looking for some cow patties to roll in.

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