I'm in dire need of a haircut. Or at least a pair of thinning scissors. But of course I hate going to the hairdresser. I hate the whole boring, time wasting experience. And I hate paying a small fortune to get what I didn't want.
Then a friend said to me
Why don't you call Robin?
It seems Robin is a hairdresser who comes to your home. And she's cheap as chips because I don't have to pay for her electricity, her water rates, her superannuation or her stupid magazines. So I can pay her half the amount to get something I don't want in the comfort of my own home.
So she's coming in the morning. And as well as a haircut we're going to discuss a way to blend in my grey roots. Which are coming at an alarming rate. She's even allowed time in case I want a colour.
But then I had a thought. When you go to the hairdresser they put on the colour then leave you and go see to another client. But what does Robin do while my colour is on? Do I have to entertain her, or can I leave her in front of the television while I do other things?
Maybe I should wear my anti-socialite tshirt to make it clear to her how I feel about things. I'm the one on the right.
I'm thinking a fringe. Even though I always regret a fringe. But I'm feeling a strong urge for a thick fringe. And what the hell, it's only hair – it grows back.
Don't worry – I'm under no illusion that what I end up with will at all resemble the picture I have picked out.