lead me not into anxiety

I have a problem.

It's to do with the tiles and coasters.

Well it's to do with my head actually.

What happens is, after I've finished making a tile or some coasters I check it over, make sure it's how I want it, then I wrap it in tissue paper, wrap it in newspaper, put a label on it saying which one it is, then store it away so when someone buys it I can just grab it and post it off.

This is where the problem comes in. Just as I'm about to put it in the post pack I have sudden thoughts, like, what if it isn't really the one the label says, what if something has happened to it, what if it's been scratched, or broken, what if, what if, what if. And in the end I unwrap it and yes, it is the right tile and no, nothing awful has happened to it. Not once has there been a problem, but I can't stop myself doing it. So I've just stopped wrapping them. They can just sit out there, exposed and save me the trouble. Save me the tissue paper as well.

It happens with my bag as well. Sometimes after shopping I throw it in the boot with the groceries and I know it's in there, but a few miles down the road I start thinking, what if it's not in there, as if it might have somehow escaped. Sometimes I pull over and go and look at it.

I tell you it's very exhausting being an idiot.


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20 thoughts on “lead me not into anxiety

  1. Do you think you have early stages of obsessive compulsive disorder? I work with a woman who used to be mildly obsessed with germs and worried about losing things 7 years ago. Now she spends half her day in the toilets washing her hands raw! Love the tile though! (and I don't really think you have ocd)

  2. Oh I have this problem with my keys – I always have to double check my keys are in my bag. Usually, just after I've pulled the front door shut, or locked the car. So if I don't have my keys, it's too late anyway.

  3. i have the same feelings about locking my doors of my house and car… sometimes i go back to double or triple check them… i am so scared someone is just going to walk right in…


  4. I do that a bit with the car and because I lock it with a remote button thing, I usually lock and unlock it so many times I'm not sure in the end is it's locked or not so I have to walk back and check.

  5. Love the tile! I can sooo relate to the need to recheck things as well. I have a routine that involves pocketing my keys and wallet — since being mugged years ago I am fearful of carrying these in a purse) — and checking them routinely. I am nearly dysfunctional if I have to wear something without pockets.

  6. I think its the price we pay for being normal, imagine if we were a bit dysfunctional, be putting the keys in the boot and the groceries whereever there is room under the bonnet and wondering what we may have forgotten.

  7. OCD! It's not just for breakfast anymore. Or for breakfast. Or for breakfast. Or for breakfast. Or for breakfast. Or for breakfast. Or… well, you get the idea.

  8. I can so relate to this. I can't tell you the amount of times I've wrapped and then unwrapped things to check them before re-wrapping, sealed and had to open a letter to check it before digging out a new envelope or a roll of tape.
    With keys I am even worse. I once lost KT's van key when we out in Ipswich. There we were, late-ish at night, with the kids, it was cold and no way to get home. We could get into the van as we have a remote control for the ramp and I hadn't lost that. I looked through my bag, repeatedly emptying out each of the pockets, searching for the key. I often lose things in my bag as I don't use a handbag and instead fill up a messnger style one with all the toot I carry about. I was starting to feel really bad about letting everyone down. We went back in to the cinema to check where we'd been sitting and to ask had anyone handed in a key. We left our phone number and went back outside to rummage through my bag again. We were out there for ages before KT called his sister to come and bring us the spare one from his flat. It meant she had to come to us, get the flat keys, drive to Felixstowe, get the spare key then drive all the way back.
    Of course, I found it a few minutes before she turned up. And of course, the ideal place to have kept it was in my bra. In. My. Bra. I am such an idiot.

  9. lol – I put money in my bra when I go out.
    Sometimes just as I drop a parcel in the mail box I have the thought that I've put the wrong adress on it.

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