a phone call with my mother

My mother rang me. She told me that:-

a. She has finished radiation treatment for her breast cancer. She told me her neck and chest leading to the breast are very burnt and she shall now most likely die from sun cancer. She told me her breast is very hot and she has to walk around holding it away from her body.

b. She sent me two books for christmas. There were three but their dog walker turned up with a large present for the dog, so mum had to race in and wrap up one of my books and give it to the dog walker. I never liked the dog walker.

We then quickly discussed the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, the possibility of finding Madeleine McCann, the smashing of a large  pedophile ring last week and the immigration of muslims into australia over the next 50 years.

We do this secretly and while I'm cooking dinner. This is because my father is a mad bastard and guards the phone so no one else can use it. So she uses it while he's in the shower. He is quite disabled from a stroke so he takes a while to shower.

Here is mum on her honeymoon. As you can see she is already thinking "how did I end up with this mad bastard". I used to think that was the funniest hat I'd ever seen – now I love it.

So yay to Mum for finishing the radiation treatment. Go you tough old thing. Another challenge accomplished without a word of complaint. World should be full of people with her attitude. All those people with all their issues and hang ups should just get over themselves. Sick of them. 

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8 thoughts on “a phone call with my mother

  1. LOL – the dog walker. This would be the one who allowed the dog to jump out a car window and hurt itself?We could all do with some of those "tough" genes.

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